It’s the best of all worlds. I still have the energy to hang with the 20 year olds, but I don’t have to eat top-ramen, worry about some stupid class, deal with stupid roommates or immature girls. I got money, an established career, and can really afford any creature comfort or any vacation I want. Basically – everything those young people are striving for.

I can also hang with the older crowd. I have all the things they have in terms of material goods, but shit, I still appreciates my new found semi-wealth. I can play with my friends babies when I need a baby fix. Go wine tasting with them. Whatever.

I am not beaten down by the world yet, but I have already gone through the Socially Awkward Penguin stage. I can discuss stock market trends and how to invest my 401(K) with some people, yet still kick it on reddit and enjoy stupid memes that would confuse 40 year olds. Let’s face it, I can watch DuckTales on an nostalgic, and ironic level. How awesome is that?

I play basketball at noon three times a week – but at work on a perfectly manicured campus. I have a fiancee who is cute and fun, but also mature enough to not have to worry about useless drama. I’m not scrambling around, trying to scare a career, but I still am learning quite a bit.

The worst is behind, and the best is yet to come.

Well, I admit, I did paint a rosy picture of myself that comes off as a little self-aggrandizing. But I guess it’s Saturday night, and I am feeling a bit philosophical. So, I will impart some words of wisdom that will most likely be savagely torn apart by obscure anecdotal evidence and bitter people, or hidden deep in this post.

So I will say this. When you are in your lates teens or early 20s, everyone is kind of the same. Poor, young, eager. You are a product of your parents and your genes.

When you hit 34, you are a product of your actions.

And I have a dichotomy of friends, those that succeeded, and those that failed. I guess I can say I succeeded. Anyway, I can see that patterns that emerged from “failures” and “successes”. I want to describe what makes a person a failure and a success (and these are the things that I wish someone told me earlier).

Characteristics of Failures at age 34:

ationship ruined by a demanding guy or girl who felt they deserved a Prince Charming or Super women who could didn’t exist, and then blame the opposite gender for being weird. Or, they deserve a promotion and they are underpaid, so they put in hardly any work because they feel slighted.

These are the people who work shit jobs or are unemployed. Single or divorced. Poor or in debt. The worst part is, their actions only make their situation worse, because it also reinforces their own retarded hardheaded beliefs of a world against them denying them what they deserve.

Charactics of Successes at age 34: