--Posted by The Professional Ass Kicker @ 8/02/03 18:16 PST.
Hey there, everybody. Welcome to the Art section of Limitless Units. This is my buddy Innovasian.
See how Nova came to be the freak that you see before by clicking on the picture or the link below.
Around here we call him "Nova" or, "Hey you."
And I am the Proffessional Ass Kicker but you can just call me Kicker, it saves time.
We're here to fill your belly with all sorts of artistic goodness.
This section will cover all things Art. Nothing more, nothing less. We'll talk about comic books, classical Art, Modern crap... all that good stuff.
Many people write to me and ask, "What makes you a 'Proffessional' ass kicker?" and "How can I become one?" And I tell them "Woah, slow down, buddy, one question at a time. Don't make me kick your ass." Then once I take a few breaths and drink a nice cold TAB, I explain to them that I get paid good money to kick people's asses and that this name is trade marked, so there can be only one. I'm kind of like the Highlander that way, or The One like Jet Li.
Hey, you know, if telling jokes was considered an Art, I would call Carrot Top the greatest Artist ever. He's an ass kicker. He would kick Leonardo DeVinci's ass, he'd even kick your ass. He could kick just about anybody's ass, even Nova's, but not mine.
Have you seen those 1-800-Collect commercials? Pure genius. "Dial down the center." Man, that cracks me up every time I hear it. How does he come up with that stuff? I dunno, some people just got it.
"When the Clock Strikes." by Tanith Lee is a new take on the famous story of Cinderella, the only difference is this version is an official "Ass-Kicking" version. Not that happy sissy stuff that you saw in the cartoon. This girl would kick your ass. I have added illustrations for your viewing pleasure as well as for your short attention span. This is page one. I will add new pages as I finish them.
The Professional Ass Kicker