December News Archive

December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas

--Posted by KenshiroKing @ 12:39 PST.

My Christmas present to you guys comes in the form of a video game review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.

December 23, 2003

The Baron Has Arrived

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 00:39 PST.

I'd like to extend a welcome the Baron Von Jer as the latest addition to LU's ever growing cast of misfits. He is the answer to our neglected music section. If the Baron's first article is any indication of the quality of his work, the music section will be in more than capable hands. Enjoy.

December 21, 2003

Ulf & Beppo

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 22:14 PST.

Ulf & Beppo is a Limitless Units exclusive comic, written and drawn by Stray Dog and edited and colored by The Professional Ass Kicker, that will be coming to you on a semi-regular basis. This is the title and first page.

December 21, 2003

Nester (the Long-eared Christmas Donkey)

--Posted by Stray Dog @ 22:14 PST.

The title by itself denotes "instant classic."

December 18, 2003

The Holidays are Here Again

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 21:10 PST.

I hope you guys have all finished your gift shopping. It so happens that every year KenshiroKing creates and distributes a Christmas list to friends and family so he insures that he gets the gifts really wants. Here are some of the items on said list:

1. Widescreen Version of Legally Blond DVD (He really wants to watch the director's commentary.)
2. Britney's Dance Beat PS2 (OOH!!...PUT IT DOWN!!...I KNOW BRITNEY HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN!!!)
3. Two Front Teeth (He lost his in a horrible Choo Choo Train accident.)
4. A Subway Sandwich (To keep to his diet.)
5. A Choo Choo Train Set
6. A Pony (No idea what he's going to do with this, he wouldn't tell me.)
7. Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo Betamax (Breakin' is cool.)
8. A Volkswagen Van with Tinted Windows and a Mattress in the Back

Here's Terralor's list:

1. Three-some with twins.
2. Four-some with triplets.
3. O R G Y with a brunnette, redhead, blonde and an asian girl.
4. Viagra to enjoy these gifts to their fullest.
5. A week of paid vacation to recover.

--Posted by The Professional Ass Kicker @ 21:49 PST.

Since we are making Christmas lists here's mine.

1. Soundtrack to the Lizzy McGuire Movie.
2. A prostitute (I hear that having sex can be pretty fun.)
3. Something that makes ass hair stop growing.
4. "Natural Growth" pills (I hear I can grow up to 3 inches.)
5. Membership to Over40Fetish.com

December 18, 2003

We're the Men with Answers

--Posted by The Professional Ass Kicker @ 21:54 PST.

Question: I'm planning on going to a nude beach for the first time. Any advice I should keep in mind? -Thanh Nguyen

Answer: First things first, buddy. It's not going to be quite what you expect. I'm sure that you're imagining that there will be plenty of barely legal young girly girls bouncing around splashing water at each other. That's just not going to happen. The true situation is that you're probably going to bump into your mom there with that nice man from the meat market who's always offering your mom some "Genuine I-talian tube-steak". They'll be walking around in their putrid oldness with their dusty giblits bouncing around in a sort of hypnotizing way. Only disgusting perverts go to nude beaches. But hey, if you feel the need to do this as some sort of right of passage in becoming a man, go for it. Just be sure that if for some crazy reason some hot chick ends up there, like some hole in the space time continuum or something, don't go into the cold ass, nipply water. It can only go bad from there. I mean you're probably already pretty small as it is.

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 21:55 PST.

It's ok if you want to go into the cold water. Just remember to rub furiously before getting out.

See More Answer Men

December 16, 2003

New Maps for Counter-Strike Xbox

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 23:05 PST.

Two hidden maps were released today as part of Valve's expansive play program. The maps were Office and Inferno.

December 16, 2003

The Golden N

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 22:48 PST.

Stray Dog has written his second article, this time about Nintendo and a quick bargain review. Scroll to the bottom to see me chime in with a few words.

December 13, 2003

A New Layout and a Few Words

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 15:01 PST.

As you can see, we have a new layout. I'm still working on converting the rest of the site over. It won't take me too long though as I just finished with school and now have some spare time.

In other news It's been a good year for us here at LU. I want to thank all the people who have helped with our young site.

Lastly, you can go build up some karma to burn for the coming year by buying a few kids some video games at Penny-Arcade's Childs Play Benefit. Just make it anonymous so their parents don't down bring litigation against you when their kids shoot up their school or something.

December 11, 2003

Guns Don't Kill People, Video Games Do

--Posted by Riposte101 @ 20:08 PST.

I'd like to be the first to welcome aboard the newest member of our LU staff Stray Dog. He will be periodically writing exclusive video game reviews and various other polygon related articles for our site.

I hope you find his first article, On Violence and Thievery, as enjoyable a read as I did.

December 4, 2003

Not So Much a Music Review...

--Posted by The Professional Ass Kicker @ 22:49 PST.

Hey everybody, it's your old pal Uncle Ass Kick. I heard from the Riposte-meister that the Music section is dying on us. So I decided that I'd try to spark some new life into it.

December 3, 2003

Not One But Two New TV Articles

--Posted by Crimson Wake @ 23:31 PST.

The title says it all.

December 2, 2003

Arts and Crafts

--Posted by The Professional Ass Kicker @ 18:44 PST.

Hey all you ass clowns out there. We got something special for you. Welcome to arts and crafts. Now sit down and shut up!

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