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Life in your 30s

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

Posted by Tony Huynh.

I saw this topic on reddit written by reddit user Ass_Munch_Reborn and it reminded me of how good I’ve got it now that I’m in my 30s.

Damn it, this is the BEST time around.

It’s the best of all worlds. I still have the energy to hang with the 20 year olds, but I don’t have to eat top-ramen, worry about some stupid class, deal with stupid roommates or immature girls. I got money, an established career, and can really afford any creature comfort or any vacation I want. Basically – everything those young people are striving for.

I can also hang with the older crowd. I have all the things they have in terms of material goods, but shit, I still appreciates my new found semi-wealth. I can play with my friends babies when I need a baby fix. Go wine tasting with them. Whatever.

I am not beaten down by the world yet, but I have already gone through the Socially Awkward Penguin stage. I can discuss stock market trends and how to invest my 401(K) with some people, yet still kick it on reddit and enjoy stupid memes that would confuse 40 year olds. Let’s face it, I can watch DuckTales on an nostalgic, and ironic level. How awesome is that?

I play basketball at noon three times a week – but at work on a perfectly manicured campus. I have a fiancee who is cute and fun, but also mature enough to not have to worry about useless drama. I’m not scrambling around, trying to scare a career, but I still am learning quite a bit.

The worst is behind, and the best is yet to come.

Well, I admit, I did paint a rosy picture of myself that comes off as a little self-aggrandizing. But I guess it’s Saturday night, and I am feeling a bit philosophical. So, I will impart some words of wisdom that will most likely be savagely torn apart by obscure anecdotal evidence and bitter people, or hidden deep in this post.

So I will say this. When you are in your lates teens or early 20s, everyone is kind of the same. Poor, young, eager. You are a product of your parents and your genes.

When you hit 34, you are a product of your actions.

And I have a dichotomy of friends, those that succeeded, and those that failed. I guess I can say I succeeded. Anyway, I can see that patterns that emerged from “failures” and “successes”. I want to describe what makes a person a failure and a success (and these are the things that I wish someone told me earlier).

Characteristics of Failures at age 34:

  • Believe the world is rigged against them. The stock market is rigged against them – so they’ll never bother investing. Their genes make them fat – so why bother running. This country doesn’t do shit for the working class, so they’re doomed to fail. Being “poor” in your 20s is natural. Being “poor” in your 30s is a state of mind.
  • Do the minimum to get buy and don’t understand that much of the world’s success comes from doing what is right. They won’t stay after work to do an extra assignment to help someone. They never read a book that could be helpful in their career in their free time. They won’t volunteer their time or money to help a friend. They don’t realize that when you have good intentions ingrained into you, people notice, people pay you back, and you get ahead.
  • Believe they “deserve” everything. I’ve seen many a rel
  • ationship ruined by a demanding guy or girl who felt they deserved a Prince Charming or Super women who could didn’t exist, and then blame the opposite gender for being weird. Or, they deserve a promotion and they are underpaid, so they put in hardly any work because they feel slighted.

  • Stubborn and hardheaded. No one knows everything. We all have pre-conceived notions. The ones that stay in a rut always stick by their guns, even if they are wrong. The ironic thing is that most people claim they are “informed” and stick by their guns, in fact, purposely choose ignorance
  • These are the people who work shit jobs or are unemployed. Single or divorced. Poor or in debt. The worst part is, their actions only make their situation worse, because it also reinforces their own retarded hardheaded beliefs of a world against them denying them what they deserve.

    Charactics of Successes at age 34:

  • Natural curiosity and eagerness to learn. Why do I invest in the Stock Market? Because, fuck, I learned from the guy that created the “Binomial Option Pricing Model” to learn about derivatives. I realized that simply knowing the Security Market Line makes me more confident. When I am at work, and I see some new technology – fuck – I have to learn how to do it. I will spend my Saturday night learning web design (that is what I’m doing right now). That’s not even in my job description anymore. And all my friends who succeeded at work and in life? They do the same stuff. We are perpetual students.
  • Doing what is right is routine. This applies to your whole life. You make the bed in the morning, it means that you value your house, you value organization, you realize that a little bit of work goes a long way to bring order. All my loser friends have unkempt beds, all my successful friends have made beds. Exercise is routine. When you work out constantly, and you don’t exercise, you have feel just wrong. It’s that ingrained. Eating right becomes natural. If you treat friends’ right without any expectations in return, you will suddenly find that your friends will stick by you no matter what. You automatically save money each month, it just becomes routine, and there’s no sacrifice involved.
  • Believe they control their own destiny. They realize that while luck has a small part to play some of the time, it evens out over a lifetime. You work your ass off, it will pay off. You eat right and exercise; you will be slim, fit, and running circles around your fat 35 year olds. You tackle whatever faults you have, you will magically not have those at faults. Fuck, I’m doing that right now. I’m 34, and I’m heading to toastmasters because public speaking scares the shit out of me.
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    Monday, December 29th, 2008

    Back in Southern California: New City, New Team

    How to Make Your Shooter Level Successful

    FireBatHero’s StarCraft Victory Ceremonies

    Sniper Rifle Armed Robotic Helicopters – America’s Solution to Piracy

    How to Make Your Shooter Combat Better

    Bioshock: The Most Important Game of the Generation

    ESL Global Finals: Korean Team HON Wins Best WoW Tournament Game Ever

    Brad Borne’s The Fancy Pants Adventure and Bruce Branit’s World Builder

    What’s Bad About Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer?

    What’s Good About Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer?

    Akira Live-Action Adaptation Director’s The Silent City

    A Real Guitar Hero – Sungha Jung 12 Year Old Prodigy Fingerstyle Guitarist

    Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Campaign Playthrough Notes

    American Badasses and a Russian Who Became a Hero by Doing Nothing

    Resident Evil 5 Demo Impressions

    Roger Ebert is Right: Games are Not High Art…Yet

    Gears of War 2 Through the Eyes of a Game Designer

    Crayon Physics Indie Game Released Today and 9 Theatrical Movie and Short Film

    Top 5 Greatest Moments in Competitive Gaming (eSports)

    What Video Games Taught Me About Life

    TapDefense Reviewed Through the Eyes of a Game Designer

    Tao of Jeet Kune Do Book Review – The Art of Street Fighting

    2 Months: Star Wars Vs. Star Trek, Super Mario Level Mod and Flash Game Sonny

    Tony Huynh Recommends

    Low Skill Cap and Luck (RNG) in World of Warcraft PVP

    Why and How I Broke My Addiction to Caffeine

    Best Games of All Time by Genre Part 2

    The iPhone 3G & AT&T Service Review

    My Student Films 2: EverQuest Documentary and Guilty Gear Isuka Trailer

    Pimps at Sea err I mean Age of Booty & Gen 13 Cosplay

    Call of Duty: World at War Through the Eyes of a Game Designer

    10 Greatest Video Game Designers Part 2

    10 Greatest Video Game Designers Part 1

    8 Ways to Make Your Goal a Certainty

    Best Games of All Time by Genre Part 1

    Welcome to 1 Month

    Money: What Steps I Have Taken to Save It

    My Student Films

    Dead Space Through the Eyes of a Game Designer

    Best MMA Fights & Genki Sudo: Real Life Video Game Character

    8 of the Most Underrated or Overlooked Video Games of All Time

    Mirror’s Edge Demo Review

    Environmental Heresies – Wired Magazines Contrarian take

    Become a Video Game Designer: Everything You Need to Know Part 1

    Become a Video Game Designer: Everything You Need to Know Part 2

    Bet on the US, I am

    Book Review of Craig Thompson’s Blankets

    Book Review of Neil Gaiman’s Stardust

    San Diego Versus Chicago

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    8 Ways to Make Your Goal a Certainty

    Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

    Fuck the Detractors
    Thanks to Berenice Limon for the use of her image.

    I am sick of people telling me to take the safe route and to not take chances. There will always be people that will advise you to live comfortably and not take on any risk or hardship. Get away from these people. They will only derail you from achieving your goals. Being comfortable never prompted anybody to change their situation or achieve their goals. Being comfortable should make you feel uncomfortable. People will allow themselves to be pushed around and bullied in order to remain comfortable. People will act in a painful situation to ease the pain or remove the source of that pain. Security and comfort is not afforded by a job, it is provided by your ability to produce.

    “When you are tough on yourself, life is easier on you.” – Zig Ziglar

    1. Achievement starts with a goal

    Start with a goal. Desire and enthusiasm without direction is wasted. A goal will give you a direction to channel all of your enthusiasm and desire. How do you know your goal is a worthwhile goal? Ask the question of “why you want to achieve this goal.” If your answer is strong enough, then you know that you have a worthy goal.

    2. Imagine the pleasure of achieving your goal

    Close your eyes and see yourself in the future having achieved your goal. Think about all the benefits, pleasure and possibilities that will open up to you if you attain your goal. Doing this will help you visualize in your mind and emotionally commit yourself to achieving your goal. Remember that feeling of pleasure at reaching your goal. Latch onto this image and it will help you manifest your mental creation into the physical.

    “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” –Gloria Steinem

    3. Imagine the pain of failing to reach the goal

    Now close your eyes and imagine what the consequences are of not reaching your goal. What type of painful existence would you live or continue to live if you did not continue to move forwards and achieve you goal? Embrace that feeling of pain and let it drive you. Pain can be the greatest of all motivators.

    4. Remind yourself of your goal

    Reinforce your goal everyday. Keep you goal fresh in your mind. By doing this you will prod your mind to work out the problems in your way of achieving that goal. A goal that is constantly bubbled up in your mind will allow your genius to work on figuring different methods on how to achieve it. Never underestimate your genius.

    Some of the methods to remind you of your goal is to write your goal on the ceiling of your bed so that you wake up and see it every morning and every evening when you go to bed. The headline of my IPhone task list is always the goal I am currently working on. I check this list several times a day to keep on task and remind myself of my goal. Whichever way you remind yourself of your goal do it at least once daily.

    By keeping yourself focused on your goal you will remove distractions. I do not know who originally said this, “When you eliminate all other possibilities other than success, you are left only with success as a possibility.”

    If you look up at the sun, you seldom see the shadows. – Helen Keller

    5. Public Accountability

    Tell others what your goal is. Arnold Schwarzenegger related a story about how he used public accountability to get the burning desire in his belly to achieve. While still in Austria and with little ability to speak English he would tell people that he was going to America to be a great actor. Because he let people know his goal, he used public accountability to strengthen his desire to achieve a goal that seemed impossible. Even when he arrived in America he was told his accent was too thick and his body too weird to ever make it. Despite it all he willed his way through all of his detractors and made it by never giving up on his dream.

    Blog about your goal and give frequent updates. Here is a video of a guy that used public accountability to get to his goal. He posted a picture of himself on his blog everyday as he used public accountability to achieve his goal of weight loss.

    Make a deal with somebody you care about. For instance, you could make a deal with your wife that you will quit smoking if she does the same.

    Tell your co-workers about your goal. “I am going to quit smoking for the next 2 weeks” and give them frequent updates. Doing this will even encourage people to ask you for an update about your goal when you neglect to update them.

    6. Do something each day that will get you closer to accomplishing your goal

    Before going to bed each evening, take out a note taking device and create a stack ranked list of what you need to tackle tomorrow to get you closer to your goal. Start on the list from highest priority and focus on it until it is complete.

    By doing something everyday to get you closer to your goal you will be surprised at the progress. This will also make your progress steady instead of having peaks and valleys of activity.

    7. Fail your way to success

    People are so afraid of failing and making mistakes that it often stops them from even trying. This mentality is completely wrong. If you want to succeed faster increase the rate at which you fail. We learn more from failure than we learn from success. Embrace and learn from failure and get back up and keep swinging. When obstacles arise you change your direction not your decision to get there.

    After Thomas Edison failed 9000 times trying to create a practical electric light he was asked by a reporter whether he felt like a failure. Edison replied, “”Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.” Edison invented the practical incandescent, electric light after he failed 10,000 times.

    “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!” – Rocky Balboa

    Each misstep is an education. There are two reactions that a person can have when hit by an obstacle. One, give up. Two, redouble your efforts. When you get knocked down, how you react to it shows your character. Bottom line is: do not be afraid to start something because you could fail and if you do fail learn from it, get back up and attack. An example is investing in the stock market. Invest slowly with money that you are not afraid to lose. If you do lose money do not let it stop you from investing, instead learn from your mistakes and consider it as an educational tuition fee. You will never learn, let alone succeed if you never try.

    8. Create a mantra

    Mine is: “I will do what it takes.”

    We need more people that don’t know what can’t be done. – Henry Ford

    May all your dreams but one come true. – David Gemmel

    This has been my most personal blog to date and I was very hesitant to publish it. Nonetheless, I hope this post is helpful to you.

    If you enjoyed this post you might be interested in my other articles:
    Why and How I Broke My Addiction to Caffeine
    Bet on the US, I am
    Money: What Steps I Have Taken to Save It

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    Money: What Steps I Have Taken to Save It

    Sunday, November 16th, 2008

    It is not about how much you earn, it is about how much you save. You cannot build wealth without saving money. Saving money is achieved by spending less money than you earn. Saving money is like trying to fill a bath tub with water, you will first have to patch up the leaks. Here are some of the steps I have taken to patching up the leaks.

    1. Gained More Self-Discipline
    Self-discipline is the ability to put off gratification now to gain gratification later. Self-discipline is what separates us from the animals. I mean, think about it, humans are the only species on this planet that is able to deny themselves what makes them happy at this very moment for greater happiness down the road. To maintain self-discipline think about the reason for “why” you are saving money. Is it to buy a house, put your kids through college or another reason? Sit down for a few minutes to come up with an answer to the question of “why.” Setting a goal is one thing, but I have always found the answer to “why” you want to accomplish that goal to be infinitely more powerful. While I have always had some self-discipline, it increased ten fold once I answered for myself the question of why. The answer to “why” should be strong enough that you can cling to it to keep you motivated. Even if you fail to maintain self-discipline keep trying and keep training your self-discipline. Like a muscle, the more you train your self-discipline the stronger it becomes.

    2. Clear debt first
    I would always recommend clearing out your debt first. Start with your highest interest rate accounts and work your way down. Devote all of your earnings to getting rid of your debt. Doing this helps you avoid compounding interest.

    3. Taxes
    For most people, their single largest expense is taxes. An American making around 100k a year pays 50% of it to the government in taxes. Anything you can do to minimize this expense means more money in your pocket. Of course I only advocate legal means to do this. The great thing is that in America we have so many government programs created to help us in this regard. Make sure to take advantage of as many available tax-deferring vehicles that fit your situation as possible.

    Some of these include, but are not exclusive to Roth IRA, 401k, Traditional Roth, Medical flex-spending savings accounts and education savings accounts.

    Also be sure you are taking advantage of any tax deferment available to you via your job or business. One advantage that being a video game developer is that it allows me to write off many of my entertainment expenses. These include computers, movies, game consoles, games and books. This can add up quickly so be sure to take advantage of this if you are able.

    As always, before taking action please meet with a qualified tax consultant for the best way to take advantage of these or any other tax-deferring vehicles.

    4. I quit drinking
    Going out and drinking can add up quickly. I just cut it out completely. I even went so far as to cut out all caffeine and minimized my soda intake. This means that I not only save money by not going to bars and Starbucks, but I also save money anytime I eat out by only drinking water.

    5. I work out at home instead of at a gym
    This again comes back to self-discipline. The advantages of working out at home are that I can dress however I feel like and work out at any time.

    6. Concentrate on what you need to live
    Get away from the “keeping up with Jones’ mentality.” If you think about it, it is amazing how little you need to live. The cost of a quality life in the United States is low if you concentrate on only what you need. You do not need the fancy car or clothes to get by. Cut those extraneous expenses out and concentrate on getting a dependable car and home in a neighborhood with good schools to raise your children. Take Warren Buffet, one of the riches men in the world, who still drives himself around in a six year old Lincoln Town car and lives in a 5 bedroom stucco house he bought in 1958 for $31,000 as your role model instead of Michael Vick whose yachts and mansions are now repossessed as soon as the first difficulty arose. Again it is about how much you keep, not how much you make.

    7. Got rid of my car
    This may not be possible for most people. Living in Chicago, I have the advantage of being able to take the very convenient mass transit system exclusively to get anywhere I need to. While I do currently pay $75 for unlimited monthly uses of mass transit, owning a car is vastly more expensive. By not having to pay for car insurance, maintenance, registration, parking and fuel I am saving a hefty amount. If you can find a way to eliminate one of your cars, and are able to bike, walk or take mass transit to work, it can add up to huge annual savings.

    8. Use credit cards
    If you use your self-discipline to pay off your credit cards every month, then use your credit cards. I use credit cards for nearly every purchase I make. Doing this gives me a very accurate record at the end of each month of all my purchases and helps me keep track of my expenses. Credit cards also usually come with some great rewards. When you use credit cards, you will be building up your credit, while at the same time enjoy rewards like cash back, airline miles, etc… So use your credit cards and enjoy the rewards, but only if you pay them off every month.

    9. Use the internet for savings
    I frequent the message forums as well as the main pages of these websites to find deals:,,

    Just because it is a deal does not mean you should purchase something. Use these online deal sites to help you find bargains on what you need and not to fuel your impulse buys.

    10. Know where to scrimp and know where not to
    Do not take this saving mentality to extremes. You need to decide where you can save and where not to. Personally, I save where I can, but I will also spend on my education. My education is the most important thing to me and while I use smart ways to save in this regard also, I am more willing to splurge if I can become educated in the process.

    I also hire help when I need it, especially in important positions like your CPA or lawyer. I do not know who first said this, but I have found it to be very true: “the most expensive advice is free advice.” A CPA that you have to pay a little more for who is willing to go the extra mile and take the time to explain tax codes to you and how to best maximize them can end up saving you a lot more money than a discount CPA who will treat you like a number.

    For those of you interested, here are a few other related articles by me:
    Bet On the US, I Am
    8 Ways to Make Your Goal a Certainty
    Why and How I Broke My Addiction to Caffeine

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    About Tony Huynh

    Saturday, November 15th, 2008 is the blog of Tony Huynh. I am currently a Senior Combat Designer at Sony Santa Monica on God of War: Ascension and previously God of War 3. Prior to that I was at Day 1 Studios on the title Fracture and Fear 3 and at High Moon Studios where I worked on Robert Ludlum’s Bourne Conspiracy and Darkwatch. is an outlet and a way for me to organize my thoughts regarding games, investing and life. I hope that you enjoy and find value from the content on this site.

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